Now check it out.
It's 13 Months with Cari now.
And guess what! It's the fourth or fifth time that I'm spending this day alone, arguing with her.

I'm SO sick of it.
Everytime I try to be a lovely and nice boyfriend, all I get is disappointment.
She destroys every little thing I'm planing just by making a laugh out of it or telling me, that she has'nt that much time for me - and mostly she says that on EXACTLY THAT day I was planning to do something with her.
Is it just me? Am I expecting too much?
I don't think so. I often compare this relationship to other relationships of friends of mine.
It's so nice to just look at friends of mine being together.
They are so sweet together, surprising the other one with little presents or actions'n'stuff.

Why can't I have something like that?
Why do I ALWAYS have to tell my girlfriend, what I'd like to have?
This is'nt part of a relationship, or am I not right?
I don't get it. I just f*ckin' don't get it.

Is it THAT hard to think about one's partner from time to time?

It's like, oh my god. I'm back from Germany since 5th of August. Before that, she has been to Japan for 3 Weeks. Since 5th of August, we have seen each other two (!) times. 2 times in 14 days.

*sigh*

I'm tired of it. Seriously. I'm SO tired of always explaining what I'd think would be nice and lovely.
I mean. Who the hell am I to teach someone how to love?